I’m still new to photography, there’s no denying that. I practice whenever I can, take part in any opportunities that come my way and just try to make the most of the equipment I have access to.
However, instantly as soon as someone says to me, “Hey! I heard that you’re a photographer?” or “so are you professional?”, I am crippled with imposter syndrome and self-doubt so all I blurt out is “No way, I’m just an amateur… I’m not that great… still learning, still early days… just trying it out ha-ha…”
I really enjoy photography. I appreciate and enjoy looking at beautiful pictures; and I enjoy taking them. But I just find it so hard to own it and confidently say “Yeah… you know what, I AM a photographer”, “this is a skill of mine”.
I still find it difficult saying that, in fact, I think I haven’t ever said it out loud properly (working on it). I guess I’m mainly scared about judgement and feel like I don’t deserve it or qualify to be in that remit… yet I have spent so much time, money and effort into getting proper gear, dealing with the legal finance side… even setting up this website as a platform. I have even LITERALLY worked at events as a photographer.
Yet I find it so bloody difficult to own that word!
I think a lot of this comes into play due to a lot of stigma attached to “making it” in the arts scene. You’re only a photographer when you’re a “successful photographer”, you’re only a poet when you’re a “successful poet”, you’re only an artist when you’re a “successful artist”- if you don’t fall into that category, then you’re just doing it as a hobby, it’s just a thing on the side.
That seems to be the sad reality. It’s funny because we don’t do the same for any other profession. I still work full time and do a 9 to 5, and I have no difficulty in owning that role – so why should I treat photography any different?
So, this is me, my first blog on my very own photography page. I am actually very excited to see how I can build this, and hopefully in the process of it be able to finally be able to own it.